Whether you are single or in a relationship, people speak the language of love very differently. If you are in a relationship, or are married, the initial excitement that you felt may have faded. You may fight occasionally, or maybe your partner doesn’t feel appreciated. It may simply be how you perceive love – or what your Love Language is. For example, one of you may place a lot of importance on touch to express your feelings, while your loved one may swoon over help with the house work. Yes, sometimes taking out the garbage can mean love to some people. Once you understand how you and your partner express your love for one another, or even just gain a more clear understanding of what your love language is, you can improve your relationships or have a better idea of what you are looking for.
What exactly is Love Language? This concept, by author Gary Chapman, defines 5 ways that we experience and express our love to other people. More simply put – Each person gives and receives love in a certain language, and speaking it will strengthen your relationships.
What are these 5 languages and how do they work?
Language #1: Words of Affirmation
If this is your language, you value words of appreciation and unsolicited compliments. You need to verbally hear the words “I love you”. They are powerful communicators of love. A harsh word will hurt your sensitive soul and leave you reeling. You are someone that needs affirmation to build you up.
Language #2: Quality Time
If you are someone that craves quality time together, nothing means more to you than receiving your loved one’s undivided attention. Being present for this person is the key to their heart – that means really focusing on them without distractions like checking your phone for messages and emails. Whether spending time alone together or trying a new cooking class, if you are looking to deepen your connection spending the day together with this person is a great way to do it.
Language #3: Receiving Gifts
The person that values gifts as part of their love language is not looking for pricey jewelry or designer clothing. They are looking for tokens that show that no matter where you are or what you are doing, you are always thinking of them. It could be picking up a sea shell from the beach to remind them of a romantic getaway that you just went on or something that shows that a lot of time and thought went into the present. Forgetting this person’s birthday or your anniversary can spell disaster for a relationship.
Language #4: Acts of Service
This person’s love language centers around deeds and not words. Sweeping the floor or cooking a meal can mean the world to this person if they are tired or had a bad day. We are living in a stressful world where two people may need to work to make ends meet and helping out without being reminded to is the way to this person’s heart. Forget to do something that you promised or don’t honour a commitment that you made to them, and you will feel their wrath.
Language #5: Physical Touch
This person is what you would call touchy-feely. They see romance as holding hands, hugging, kissing, and more. Just the smallest touch to them communicates warmth and security. Avoiding them physically can cause hurt and misunderstanding.
Understanding these five languages will not only help improve your relationships with your partner, but with your family and friends as well.
Take the test here and tell us what your Love Language is.
