Have you ever wanted to improve your memory or just learn some tips on how to read people? We thought it would be fun to ask Jaymes White, a self-described expert on behaviour, how to use the power of observation to read people. White is known for his Victorian-Style séances, his “Art of Mindreading” experiences and his critically acclaimed stage show, Paradox. He regularly presents at universities, helping weary students improve their memory. Here are ways that you can improve your memory, read people and maybe even save yourself a little bit of heartache.
In addition to hosting séances and mind-reading events, you are also a presenter at memory training workshops. What are some small things that people can do to improve their memory?
I have the privilege of teaching at different universities, along with training detectives, law enforcement and people in sensitive areas. In order for memory to work, you need to think over the top ridiculous. Aristotle came up with a principle where if someone said something smart, he would slap them in the face because you would remember being slapped in the face. If we take this concept and make it modern, what you need to do is think over the top, exaggerate and make it ridiculous. For example, if you saw someone walk down the street, you would never remember them, but if you saw them walk down the street with an octopus on their shoulders you will always remember them.
If you are someone who always loses your keys or wallet, imagine your keys or wallet to be a shark and wherever you put it down imagine the “shark” biting it. For example, if you put your keys on the table, imagine a shark biting through the table. See how it’s ridiculous and over the top? You can also imagine your keys being a grenade and whenever you put it down imagine it blowing up. YOU NEED TO VISUALIZE AND SEE THE PICTURE IN YOUR HEAD in order for it to be locked in. Say you are someone who has trouble with names, what you need to do is associate their face with their name. If the person’s name is John, seriously just imagine a toilet around their head. If their name is Cheryl imagine them sitting in a chair rolling (chair roll= Cheryl). It legit works, you just need to spend the time thinking over the top.
How can you tell if someone is lying?
Lie detection is very interesting and takes a bit more practice. The most important thing with lie detection is the break of pattern no matter what that is. For example if someone is always moving their hands but then all of a sudden they drop their hands, the part where they drop their hands is more likely a lie (they are too focused on their lie to control their body). Same principle if they never use their hands when they speak and all of a sudden, they use them. Another thing is the language; if someone says I DID NOT CHEAT versus I didn’t cheat the person who says I DID NOT CHEAT is more likely to be cheating because they are overcompensating.
One concept in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) is when you ask someone a question, if they look towards the right they are constructing or “lying” while if they are looking to the left they are telling the truth. Keep in mind this can be opposite and it sort of works, but science doesn’t support it. With lie detection, you want to add all of these concepts together and most importantly find the BREAK OF PATTERN or OVERCOMPENSATION. The other thing someone may do a lot of times is act over the top and deflect. What they are saying is often a lie because they know they are wrong so they are trying to deflect the attention and they basically blame you. What is actually crazy is that I personally find its easier to tell if someone is lying through handwriting than body language. They both work though, it just takes practice.
Can people control their body language?
If you are not trained in these areas, it is harder to control because you do not know what we are looking for. However, if you are trained it is very easy to control body language. It is like a lie detector. Studies show it’s quite easy to over throw them because you just distract yourself with something else so that the lie detector will be wrong. Also, in the studies, I think that lie detection is only accurate 50.5 times, so I would not trust them because it’s almost the same odds as flipping a coin. I think you can control your body language, but you need to be consciously aware of what you are trying to do.
What are the warning signs that a woman in a new relationship should look out for?
I actually have a reputation for spotting out psychopaths pretty quickly. In the past, my friends came to me and were like “I am going on a date with this person, what do you think?” I have found that I have been right about every single person they went out with. A lot of times, I can even guess how they will act, if they will be late, what car they drive etc. I could do a whole topic on this question! You want to look for over aggression; if you find they are too pushy, I doubt it will ever get better.
There is a test I suggest to some people where I say wait 4 or 5 dates before you sleep with them because if they actually care about you, they will not leave or disappear. You can quickly tell, a lot of times, the type of person they are. Abusive people tend to play the victim, for example, if they are late or they don’t get what they want and they will twist things on you. You will start noticing this more often, almost like a kid throwing a tantrum and that is a pretty good indicator of a narcissist or psychopath. You will also notice that it feels like walking on eggshells when they get mad over everything and twist it around. If you notice this a month into the relationship and it happens a lot, that is a HUGE RED FLAG….I would suggest getting out because it never ends well.