The Valentine’s Day season is meant to be a happy occasion. For couples who are currently having problems, though, it serves as a stark reminder that things aren’t right. So, rather than focusing on gifts and commercialism, this is a time to get love back on track.
Many relationships end because couples either ignore the problems or do not actively build a strategy to address them. If that sounds like you, here are 10 tips for couples to try that may restore your love and help you build a happier future together.
Attend Counseling
The fact that you have already recognized an issue within the relationship is a great starting point. Your next goal should be to work through the issues together. Meanwhile, there is no shame in admitting that you need support and reaching out for a helping hand. Professional therapy for couples could be the perfect solution. Not least because it is an environment in which you will be forced to be honest with each other.
A therapist won’t judge while confidentiality gives it a huge advantage over speaking to friends. Sessions can get to the root cause of your problems, including trauma from outside of the relationship. They will also give both parties a chance to speak while also working out whether saving the relationship is what you want. And, if so, what methods will give you the best chances.
Date Again
The Valentine’s Day period may feel a little forced. However, when you look at how new couples celebrate it, this should highlight one thing. The spark is an essential part of the relationship. Sadly, many couples fall into the trap of ignoring the need to date, especially when kids come along. It might not always be easy to do, but you must look for ways to date again. They are the moments to connect, appreciate each other, and escape the stress of life.
There are many options to consider, starting with home date nights. Ideally, though, couples should look for day trips and adventures. You don’t have to travel far to escape the troubles of daily life. A night stay at a local spa retreat can work wonders. Likewise, a trip into the city for dinner and a show or romantic walk can be amazing. Creating those magical memories together will reignite the spark.
Restore Individuality
Dating is just one example of how you should invest time in your relationship. After all, couples are far stronger when they work together as a unit. Nevertheless, the relationship should not stop you from embracing individualism. We all need personal hobbies and friendship groups. Otherwise, the lack of a social life will weigh down on your partnership. Moreover, you will start to lose a sense of identity, particularly if your partner still has their own life.
Even items like following your career goals is important. It’s true that the relationship needs transparency. Still, having every aspect of your life wrapped in the relationship will suffocate it. You simply can’t give the best version of yourself to the relationship if you are not happy in yourself. Whether it’s rebuilding confidence in your appearance or spending time with friends, do not overlook its role.
Manage Financial Stress
When looking at the underlying reasons for long-term relationships to end, money worries sit quite high. It has become particularly common in today’s world, but couples cannot afford to ignore it. Obtaining free financial advice is the first step to getting your finances back on track. Hopefully, it will enable you to put your relationship on a better path too. Working together on this task can make you a stronger unit.
There may be a long journey ahead. However, the knowledge that your finances are moving in the right direction will lift a weight from your shoulders. In turn, you will be less irritable with each other, which can only aid the relationship. If nothing else, getting organized with finances will free up more time for more important matters. Likewise, you’ll be better positioned to address new issues before they take a toll.
Invest In Your Home
We are all influenced by our surroundings. If the home environment is dragging you down, the harsh reality is that it will impact the relationship. Introducing more natural light and getting on top of your storage needs will build a strong platform. This should be coupled with personal touches like adding family photos or reminders of your best memories together. Injecting emotional comfort into the property will significantly enhance the situation.
Other investments into the property should focus on comfort and function. A new double bed may work wonders as a good night’s sleep will keep you both happier. Meanwhile, boosting the shower pressure is another way to make daily life a little more luxurious. Kitchen gadgets and other tools to help you save time should also feature on the agenda. Again, it’ll free up more time to enjoy as a family.
Understand The Alternatives
Every relationship will inevitably experience its ups and downs. If you have thought about calling it a day, there is a very strong chance that you have thought about your options. Whether it’s being single or starting a relationship with someone else doesn’t matter. You will probably romanticize this prospect in your mind. In reality, though, the grass isn’t always greener and you will still face difficulties in other setups.
Single life doesn’t offer the freedom it did in your late teens as you have more responsibilities now. Meanwhile, the person that has turned your head with flirty DMs or comments at work isn’t the perfect person you’ve painted in your head. You shouldn’t stay in a genuinely toxic relationship that has run its course. But don’t be fooled into thinking the alternative path will be plain sailing.
Stop The Comparisons
Following on from the fact you need to be honest regarding your other options, you should stop looking at others. Comparison is the thief of joy. One of the reasons that the alternative options seem attractive is that you compare what others have to your life. Or at least what they seem to have. When scrolling social media, for example, you only see the highlights. So, it becomes easy to develop an inferiority complex. It causes more damage than you know.
Worse still, the fact is that most average people have the same concerns and challenges that you do. It’s just that nobody wants to show them off to the world. Even when comparing yourself to friends in real life, you must recognize that you only see a glimpse. Do not let their lives influence the way that you view your relationship. If you’re actually happy and content, nobody else’s joy should matter.
Know Your Love Languages
Relationships rely heavily on feeling loved and valued by your partner. However, the truth is that efforts to do this may be going unnoticed. The best way to overcome this problem is to actively learn your love languages and communicate with each other. Even if you have been together for years, this one step can make a world of difference. After all, it gives you both guidance on how to please each other both physically and emotionally.
Tapping into your love languages will deepen the connection you share. Aside from the direct benefits in the moment, it is something you will reflect on and appreciate. From physical touch to verbal affirmations, the impacts are lasting. Conversely, if you continue to show love in a way that your partner doesn’t respond to, the influence will be lessened. Over time, this can lead to reduced feelings.
Do More Together
As already stated, dates are important. Nevertheless, spending time together on a daily basis is equally important. The simple steps like eating together are vital. It is important to try to be present in the moment. Put the phones and distractions away before enjoying a deeper conversation. Taking an interest in each other and your respective daily tasks is a step in the right direction. You can also look to share house chores and remain in proximity.
Relationships often break down because two people become passing ships. Rectify this without sacrificing your individual lives, and there is a far better chance of restoring your love. Even if it doesn’t work out, completing this step would help you walk away confidently. So, if your relationship is struggling due to a lack of time together, try to correct it. It is your chance to rediscover the joy you have being around each other.
Manage Expectations
Finally, you must learn to manage expectations. Firstly, life isn’t perfect and you can’t expect to have a relationship where you never have disagreements. Perhaps more importantly, you must recognize that the steps to restore the health of your partnership will take time. Whether it’s rebuilding trust after infidelity or working on communication or lifestyle changes doesn’t matter. You will need to show a little patience and be willing to put in the necessary effort.
It’s not easy, but a relationship worth saving is a relationship worth fighting for. If you are both putting the work in, it shows that you both care. If you still love each other deep down and are willing to work on individual and collective matters, things can work out. As long as you are moving in the right direction, your relationship will reach its intended destination. The road to a stronger bond awaits.
