Sex is the bond that helps you and your partner understand each other. Your sex life is also a way for you to practice intimacy, that vital component that leads to healthy and satisfying relationships. Many couples may go through a period in which the excitement for sex begins to drop. It subsides until the spark you once had fizzled out.
You and your partner will also go down that road if you treat your relationship as a joyride. It should be a journey that brings enjoyment. Achieving that boils down to effort. If you’re thinking of keeping the sexual spark (and your relationship) alive, here are a few tips to make your sex life more enjoyable and intimate.
-
Learn each other’s love language
If you’re not familiar with love languages yet, consider this a crash course. A love language is a means of expressing passion towards your partner. It’s an emotional trigger that stimulates your partner’s romantic drives. Understanding their love language is like speaking to them in a way that communicates your intense feelings for them.
If your partner considers physical touch as their love language, they respond positively to hugs, kisses, and hand-holding. Quality time is also a form of love language if your partner thirsts for intimate moments with just the two of you. By learning each other’s means of romantic expression, it becomes easier to know and deliver exactly the things that activate your sensual side.
-
Find time for intimate talks
Communication becomes more difficult if both you and your partner are working. This is not to say that your careers are getting in the way of romance, but at times, it’s the lack of talking that causes rifts. You may be too tired to plan for the future or share your thoughts about what’s happening around the neighborhood, but it’s moments like these that expose your emotional vulnerabilities.
Having intimate talks even if they last just under 10 minutes is good for your relationship. It’s a way for you to acknowledge each other’s presence and realize that you have someone willing to listen to every minor and major problem you’re having. In this sense, open communication acts as the emotional bond that keeps romance intact.
-
Be spontaneous
Sex becomes boring if it’s limited to the bedroom. You don’t have to enjoy it discreetly. There are everyday opportunities where you can tell your partner that you’re always in the mood. Sending sexts during work hours is one option.
You can also try having sex in unlikely places. If you’re in the parking lot and your vehicle happens to have tinted windows, feel each other up. This would be a great way to warm up before the big finale in the evening. Be bold enough to show each other’s wild side no matter the time or place.
-
Try out new positions
Aside from the location, you should also mix up your list of positions. The missionary and doggystyle positions will lose their appeal over time, so you will have to look for new ways to “connect.” The Kamasutra is always a good start, but you will need to prepare for many of these positions by practicing exercises and yoga poses that improve flexibility and stamina. When choosing a position to try out, it’s also important to keep your safety in mind.
If you think you’re trying out something that isn’t physically possible, move on to one that suits your level. Consent is also important as you don’t want to force your partner to do a position they don’t like, especially if they’re reluctant to try out oral sex. Respect each other’s boundaries, but if both of you are adventurous enough, then go wild.
-
Use sex toys and lubes
Sex toys can enhance the sensations you feel during sex. They also help you spice things up if you’ve grown tired and bored with the monotonous activities you do in bed. If you want to step outside your comfort zone, ask your partner if they’re willing to try dildos, butt plugs, and lubricants.
You can shop for these items anywhere, so look for an adult store that has everything you need for a night like no other! You can also check out online stores if you can’t find such a shop in your neighborhood. If you live in Toronto, you can order toys and even sexy lingerie from Hanky Panky a Boutique for Lovers, and other reliable vendors. Be sure you do your research first before making your purchase or you will end up ordering sex toys that won’t even make you feel a tad kinky.
-
Touch on each other’s fantasies
Enhancing your sex life revolves around your willingness to act out scenarios your partner is willing to act in. It’s a way for you to break out from the usual bedtime romance and dive into each other’s sexual fantasies, whether it’s roleplaying or BDSM.
If your partner is into roleplaying, order costumes and props that make the scenario believable. You can also decorate the bedroom so it captures the scene. With this, you get to treat each other as completely different people and act out scenes you could only watch on porn sites.
For BDSM fantasies, ask your partner’s sexual fetishes and kinks and let them pick the role they will be playing whether it’s a dom or sub. Before tying out a BDSM set, learn about your partner’s pain tolerance and come up with a safe word. As much as you want to take your sex life to a new life, this shouldn’t come at the cost of your partner’s safety.
Endnote
The ways to make sex more enjoyable will differ from one couple to another, but the secret will always lie in communication and a deeper understanding of each other’s needs. Once you’ve figured that out, you’re well on your way to a more radiant sex life.
